Saturday, January 29, 2005

Not just finished but done

Round one week one is done. Not just finished. Done.

I mean done as in meat is done and people are finished. We are cooked.

Yesterday’s nurse got us in and out in 4 hours. When I took her picture she commented that she should probably look like she was doing something.

Friday of week one, the nurse visits with Frank in the chemo room. Posted by Hello

Here he is, toasty-warm under the very bright blanket! Posted by Hello

He really does like it! Posted by Hello

The speed was due in part b/c it was Friday and everyone was ready to be done. Also, we got there early and didn’t have to wait for the back up in the pharmacy that happens mid-morning. The end of day five found us almost giddy as we left the building. And I remembered to press the button in the elevator!

We went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch and then into Frank’s office for a few hours. It being tax season, or the season when tax paperwork must be disseminated, he doesn’t want folks to get behind just because of what is happening to him. The Foundation had a busy '04, which makes for a busy January. They are being very supportive of him and would be ok if he didn’t come in, but are grateful when they see him.

He did crash pretty quickly and asked to go home before I asked. I too am exhausted. We got home and took a long nap. I asked him on a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being the very best and 1 being the very worst, how was he feeling. 4 to 5, not the best, not the worst. Then we fell into a deep sleep.

Upon waking up I felt as if a Mack truck had driven through the bed while I slept. I think it is the crash that happens when you have a window of time to relax after a stress-filled time. The dog needed to be let out and I knew too much longer in bed for me and I wouldn’t be able to sleep the night, so I got up.

Fibber, regal, yet dumb dog. Yes, that is a 6 foot couch behind him Posted by Hello

Doofus (aka Fibber or Nacho, his full name is Fibbonacci) decided to go on a romp through the woods. I followed w/ the car. I found a fox watching from a tree stump in the ravine between the parsonage and the church. Wondered what Fibber would do if they crossed paths. Luckily I found Fib and got him into my car before he crossed the road and made it to the neighborhood compost café. Frank slept.

he is a sweetie Posted by Hello

and double jointed! Posted by Hello

Dinner arrived (with a card drawn by a kindergartner from church that said in crayon, “Shrink, Shrink, Shrink.”) Soon thereafter Frank awoke.

We spent the evening quietly reconnecting and reflecting on the week. One of the things we that sustains us in everyday life is they way we check in with each other every night before we go to sleep. No matter how tired, no matter the time, we process our day and remind each other whose we are. At the very least we make sure we kiss each other good night. This week’s schedule and drugs (that make him sleepy) have dampened focus time and I’ll admit I miss it, it is part of what feeds my soul, but I know that Frank’s energy must be conserved. The good night kiss however is never missed except when one of us is out of town OR that one time we had a really bad fight. Seriously, just that one time and we’ll both tell you now how very stupid it was.

Last night (Friday) we got to spend focused time together and that was good, very good.

It is now Saturday afternoon. I've done a lot of house work and Frank has lounged on the sofa. He's napping now and is still feeling about the same "eh". <-- that is a medical term for so-so.

Thanks for your thought and prayers.