And another...

Say hello to Reese and Cara. Reese was on surveillance but recently started 3xBEP after a CT showed activity in his retroperitoneal lymph nodes.

And another blogger...

Meet Ted, who had his orchiectomy in February 2008 and has just started chemo for a mass found on a CT.

Good luck Ted!

Making readers smarter since 2005!

Hat tip to The Rev. for digging up this gem:



Yay for us! Granted, this tester isn't that sophisticated (the Rev. found something on how it works but I can't place my grimy paws on it). So I ran the blog through some more comprehensive tests at readability.info and got these results:

Kincaid: 4.7
ARI: 4.4
Coleman-Liau: 8.0
Flesch Index: 85.9
Fog Index: 7.6
Lix: 29.3 = below school year 5
SMOG-Grading: 7.6

These results are very different (ranging somewhere between 4th and 8th grade level). You can get more info about the underlying algorithms here. Then I ran it through Juicystudio's tests and got these results:

Gunning Fog Index 15.83
Flesch Reading Ease 16.35
Flesch-Kincaid Grade 12.00

Since only recent posts are displayed when you call up the main URL of the blog, it's hard to get an overall score for the entire blog (when I tested the archives, the scores varied wildly from month-to-month). Faced with such inconsistent results, I'll just stick with the original "genius" moniker - it sounds cooler anyway. And I'm a firm believer of osmosis learning and intelligence, so you, gentle readers, should feel smarter too!

anonymous

Maybe you are visiting because you have followed a link from a mean spirited “troll” who copied a recent post that I made here on his/her blog (the author is anonymous). If that is the route that found you here, then welcome. I invite you to read through our posts from the beginning. Know that we write to share our story--our life with and following my husband’s battle with testicular cancer.

We are blessed to have a huge number of people, family and friends, who keep us in their thoughts and prayers. Using a blog to communicate with them is one of the gifts of modern technology. We hope that if you are going through similar difficulties times in your life that our honest sharing is something that can help you find wholeness during a stressful time.

If you are one who follows our blog, please know that I’m not sharing the "troll's" site address because I do not want to support or advertise the thoughts of an unfortunate soul who seems to have problems with adoption, the church, people of faith, and a whole host of other issues AND who hides behind the veil of “anonymous.” I find it to be cowardly: it doesn’t allow conversation, just verbal arrows shot from a heart that would be empty save all the hate that is held within and shared, “anonymously”, with the world. I do, in all seriousness, hope that whoever it is has someone other than the world wide web to speak to about the things that are troubling them.

I debated about even responding to his/her post. To respond gives power to the other, but not responding can make one feel powerless. And if you are someone who frequents this site, you know that I’m someone who likes conversation, not anonymous mean spirited attacks. I am taking back my power and standing up for my right to share openly and honestly what is happening in our lives, it's our blog after all.

Said blogger commented on my most recent post. It was posted to our site less than 30 minutes after I’d blogged. It was so scathing that Frank deleted it before he even let me read it. He does not usually protect me in this way, so I can only imagine what it said. (He is also much better at dismissing people who don’t share his perspective than I am. I’m softer than him in that respect, I dwell on things. It is who I am.)

Frank, gifted surfer of the web, was able to track the source of the post to the blog where I found myself quoted (out of context of our story) and ripped on. It is one thing to disagree in the context of a conversation, but it is mean spirited to “proof text” or take out of context (what so many Christians unfortunately do to prove their well intentioned however erroneous points) part of a story and pass judgment on a person’s character and profession.

Frank posted, with full disclosure of who he was, to this person’s site inviting him into conversation. S/he erased his comment quicker than s/he was erased by Frank on this site! Conversation halted by the one who seemed so eager to point out how wrong, selfish, mean, and hypocritical I am. Hmmm.

As a clergy women I have never claimed to be anything other than human, complete with all the complex issues that everyone faces. I’m not immune to selfishness*, nor pain. It is thought the grace of God that I work and strive to be in right relationship with God and neighbor. But, if you are anonymous, you, neighbor, prevent that relationship from ever having a chance.

So, all that is to say that we have no intention of engaging in fruitless battles where everyone ends up loosing, and thus we are limiting our comments section to those who will identify themselves in a way that can lead to conversation. That does not mean you have to agree with what we say, for everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but you have to have the balls, or in the TC world—the ball, to claim your ideas and the arrows you sling with them as your own, not some cowardly anonymous doofus.

*As an aside, I do not feel my/our desire to adopt an infant is selfish. I view those who have attempted the adoption process after not being able to conceive themselves as brave and courageous.

For most of the world, it doesn’t take much to make a baby, but if what you have doesn’t work, and if you desire to share and grow a life with your partner, and you have the means to do so—it is in some cases selfish not to.

The many layers of paperwork and questioning that couples go through to get to where we are is astounding. There is a “reasonable” reason for everything from personal financial records to a note from the vet saying that that household pet is up to date on shots. The reality remains that people whose “parts” work rarely if ever have to justify to the government that they are fit to be parents. To actively purse adoption means that you’ve overcome or are at least dealing with in a healthy way a lot of anger—at your body, at the system, etc.

Therefore the choice to enter this process is a very personal decision for each person or couple. From the adoptive parents' perspective, each has to determine the threshold of heartache, the willingness to lay your heart out, open to be able to accept a blessing or be prepared for it to be smashed into the ground. It is knowing that what ends up being “best” for the baby may be something other than what you thought it should be. It is about being “all in”, knowing that there may be pieces of your heart that will never be gathered up together again, and that is ok. I’ve heard it said that being a parent is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. For adoptive parents, that often begins years before their child is even conceived.

Additionally, I have GREAT respect for OUR birth mom. We would not be where we are or who we are with out her. She is doing something that I could never imagine doing. I may not always agree with her choices, but I respect that they are hers to make. Frank and I are doing everything with in our power (and within what the state law allows us to do) that we can to support her. Her time is close, she is, to quote her “so done with being pregnant.” We recognize that there are still things that could happen and this is not a “done deal” by any means. We just want to be parents. If she is carrying the child we are to parent, then it will all work out. If not, we’ll grieve what we'd hoped and longed for, regroup and move on. I have faith, I have hope that at some point, at some time we are to give a significant portion of our life to help someone grow into an amazing person.

We did get to see the baby blink, look around, and "breathe" on the ultra sound yesterday! Wasn't the 3D one though, the little stinker faced backward during that one last week. He's coming right along.

So much for trolls.

-the rev

P.S. As of the evening of February 28, the troll's website has been closed to nonregistered users.
Vinny

An open invitation to our guests

Things have been slow around here lately, so I figured I'd share this. Two researchers at the University of Kentucky are doing research on the use of new communication technologies, presently concentrating on how health information seekers, particularly cancer patients and their families/friends, adopt blogs.

They're asking visitors to take an anonymous and confidential survey. They believe the information gathered from this study will greatly contribute to our understanding of the adoption of new communication technologies by cancer patients.

To take the survey, click here. If that doesn't work, cut and paste the following URL into your browser:

https://wintis.mowsey.org/survey/

They may have some certificate issues with your browser. If you get a message, just continue on.

In other news, Annual Conference for Missouri United Methodists is this weekend in Springfield. This is the first time in the past three years that the Rev is having to go (two years ago we went on vacation, and last year I was busy having my RPLND). She was really banking on us getting an adoption placement in time for her to start maternity leave and skip yet another annual conference. No such luck. You can't win 'em all!

Farewell, Andrew

Andrew Molenda, fellow testicular cancer survivor, died yesterday, after several years of fighting TC and its related complications. He will be remembered fondly and missed terribly by his wife Amy, his children Liam, Alena (Lanie) and Evan, as well as scores of family, friends, and fellow TC survivors. He was 30 years old.

I never had the pleasure of meeting Andrew in person, but in this digital age, we made contact through the internet. We started our blogs at about the same time; mine as I was beginning chemo, his as he was enduring treatment for his relapse that occurred in late 2004. He was an inspiration to me, a never-ending example of the Livestrong philosophy.

As I said in the blog a while back, I feared that Andrew's time with us was limited. Nevertheless, I was saddened to see this weekend that he had entered end of life care, and felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I read this morning about his passing. Like most major life changes, even when you expect it, you never really expect it when it actually happens.

My prayer today is that the Molenda family will continue to Livestrong, and that they will have comfort and peace.

Hitting the Big Time

Well, this is the break we've been waiting for. I am pleased to announce that the state newspaper for United Methodists did a two-page article on blogs, and The Rev and I got our own half-page sidebar on our blogging contribution. Woo-hoo!

Man, the visitors should start pouring in anytime now!

Anytime now...

Seriously, I will be watching the stats over the next week or so to see if there is any appreciable increase, but I can't imagine there are that many net-savvy Methodists who 1) read this paper and 2) are interested enought to take a look. The average circulation of the bi-weekly is 6,000 (out of a claimed total church membership of 176,000) and it goes primarily to pastors and local church leaders. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

For those of you interested in reading, here's that issue of the conference newspaper. The blog story is on the front page; our story is on page 6A.

New Job...

...well, in addition to my current job(s). I've been invited to help moderate the new discussion forums at Don't Be A Schmuck, the TC site for teens. I've even had the honorable title of "Funky Lump Master" bestowed on me. Something about my attitude, I guess...

So now my job list includes:
Funky Lump Master
Scrooge (i.e., Money Man) for the Daniel Boone Flying Club
Money Man for the Columbia Chorale
Chief Maintenance Officer, Financial Guru, and All-around Good Guy for The Rev

And those are my non-paying positions (financially speaking, though I get some pretty good fringe benefits from The Rev -- not including everlasting life and all that stuff)

And all this with one ball tied behind my back (well, actually, completely removed, but you get the picture...or do you?)