Tuesday, June 24, 2008

in the future....

When you see cuts and bruises (casts are only around the corner) on my child, please know that while I delight in him exploring his world, I do not encourage him to climb as high as he can nor do I gleefully watch him navigate a playground's many levels and decide to jump from on high.
Some of what I'm talking about:

Because this is often the result:

That's not a "bloody nose" but a cut under his nose(?!). He got it while falling off the ledge he was walking along. I was close by, I fear I made it worse by trying to keep him from falling....but I digress.

As a mommy friend said to him this morning in the park after he fell and got the cut under his nose, "Zane, at least your black eye has healed up!" Yes, he ran into a table at full speed about a week ago and gave himself a beautiful shiner.

Then there are the times when he's all sweet and mostly helpful:

Of course right now he's spreading Cheez-its all over the floor and stomping on them.
A day in the life!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Life at the speed of Zane

Life at the speed of Zane is what I'm calling it. It is the new rhythm of my life and I like it. A lot. sometimes it's a wild ride, other times it's snuggling up and kicking back.

It also keeps me from extended periods of thoughtful reflection on the blog.

So, to recap:
I feel more like a Chicagoan. And not just because I know why they call it the Windy City. (btw: It has nothing to do with the often present breeze)

The Walk n Roll for the ACS (a month ago?!? now) was amazing. First, it was a Sunday morning event outside the that I was able to participate in.
Second, Frank was able to raise quite a bit of cash for something we really believe in.
For me it was amazing to walk through Grant Park, in front of the Field Museum, along the lake front and realize that I was going to be sleeping in my own bed that very evening because we LIVE in Chicago!

(in the Chicago skyline picture the walkers are in the far right near the lake, the line stretched all the way up to the skyline)

It wasn’t an easy walk. However, the hard part had NOTHING to do with the 17,000+ steps my pedometer told me I’d walked at the end of the day. It happened while I was walking w/ Frank and Zane. I'm "sight seeing" and amazed by the number of people participating. Groups of people laughing and having a good time, wearing T-shirts or carrying signs and banners in honor or memory of someone.

And then it hit me; I almost burst into tears. I saw T-shirts memorizing a woman younger than us who passed away 2 months ago. A reminder that while it was a beautiful (but cold) day midst the laughter and fun of those walking, we were also all "touched". For a moment I felt the weight of grief felt by this mass of humanity. So many lives lost, so many people being missed--and YET HOPE b/c so many survivors were also there too.

In the days that followed the weight turned to words of thanks for the inquisitive minds of many smart doctors and researchers who have made it their life's work to find cures for the cancers among us.
The following Sunday, back at church, as I voiced that prayer of thanks, gulped down a few of my own tears that I was still sitting next to the man I love. And, while cancer is still a part of our lives we have lived so much since then and have such a beautiful future ahead of us. And such a cute boy to share it with!
I mean, come on, who's number one?

A second big thing in the past month is that Z and I managed a visit to my parents and then met up w/ Frank for a weekend trip back to where we moved from.

We (Z and I) traveled alone for 6 hours in a car. He did great. He loved being at my parents (we went to the MO Botanical Gardens where the sheep picture was taken). He also got a kick out of this brass pot he's sitting in. He carried it around their house. At times he thought it was wonderful, at other times the pot made him very, very mad. His audience thought every moment was funny. It's a HEAVY brass pot, but he wouldn't let that stop him, no not my child!

Back in MO we saw as many folks as we could and took the opportunity to visit the church I served. The current pastor gave his blessings for the visit. (translation: when I asked, he said it was ok for me to visit, I'd checked with him weeks before as it is very uncool for previous pastors to "show up" w/o telling the current pastor it smacks of meddling in the current pastor's work with the people).

It was good to "go home" & see folks. I will always love that little church and the people who work to make it what it is. They walked with us through so many things! And I wanted them to see how big Z had grown in the short time we'd been gone. They, the church, are doing great, just as I knew they would.

It seemed like ages since I'd been there (only 4 months), and other previous pastors might have felt awkward, acknowledging some of the changes that have already occurred, but not me. I am genuinely happy and received as a gift the opportunity to witness some of the seeds I'd planted beginning to find a life, growing under the amazing care of their new pastor.

I am deeply proud of them.

It was a deeper confirmation for me too that I am exactly where God wants me to be, on this side of the pulpit, living at the speed of Zane. I do miss certain aspects of the job, but I'm not climbing the walls as some might expect.

I mean, I get to play with this little boy everyday! How lucky am I? Even in the middle of 3 molars and I think at least two other teeth cutting this week (he won't let me get my fingers in there to check) I'm more than pretty darn lucky!